The list continues... My wifey wisdom
As soon as I hit 'publish' on my last blog about 18 lessons I've learned as a wife, I thought of a bunch more.
So drumroll...
19. Refuse to believe lies. Lies that if your partner did something disappointing once, they'll always do it. Or if times are hard, don't believe the lie it will always be hard. Recognize these lies. They will keep you stuck and hopeless.
20. Have mental discipline. If you're in a bad mood, and mentally beat up your partner because you're frustrated, STOP. Putting arguments on mental repeat or fixating on 'lies' like 'things will never change' is not productive.
21. Grace reigns. There are times when your spouse doesn't deserve grace. Give it anyway. You will be a better person for it. And who are we to accept the deepest most profound grace from Christ and not show grace to one another?
22. Choose love. There will be times it will be a choice. It will be messy. Or hard. Or complicated. And you get the opportunity to choose it again... and again... and again... No matter what, always choose love.
23. Defensive kills. There's no better way to create a rabbit trail, make an argument unproductive, or be ticked off than being defensive. It keeps us from empathizing. It keeps us from listening. It keeps us from understanding. Recognize when defensiveness peaks and choose to put it aside. It does you no good.
24. 5 to 1. I've written this before. It came from counseling. Offer five positive things to every 1 difficult thing you need to share. Positives should always significantly outnumber any negatives/challenges.
25. Preheat the oven. I'll try to be vague here for the sake of some. But there are some acts of marriage that should be anticipated by 'preheating', which may include hand holding, compliments etc. You get it.
26. Be on the same page about giving and saving. So many relationships are composed of a 'saver' and a 'spender'. Regardless, be on the same page about these two principles.
27. Go to bed mad. Yes, I know there's a Bible verse that seemingly says not to do this, however, there is also a verse about being a peacemaker. There is no worse time to 'work things out' then when you're emotional, tired, and it's late at night. Sleep on it. Regroup. Then take time to form your thoughts and share them.
28. Bad Day? Send a warning. If you've had a bad day, or you're in a bad mood, alert your partner. Just today I received a text like that and I'm so grateful. I made sure dinner was started, Avery was ready to love on her daddy (although that didn't go as planned) and I was ready to be extra gracious and patient.
29. Watch sports. Perhaps you already do, but I've learned to love one in particular: football. Key word being learned. Once I understood the game, I enjoyed it. And now it's something we can do together. Just because you don't initially share interests doesn't mean you can't.
30. Don't text when you're mad. It's too easy to say things you shouldn't.
Any more you'd add?